Meet My Dad.
Before there were Intentional Dad Letters, there was my dad.
His name was Dan. And he was so much fun to be with!
Sailing Around NYC
One summer, while my sister was away on a missions trip, my dad decided it would be fun to take my mom and me sailing around Manhattan Harbor.
I got to help hoist the sail.
Then Dad took a turn too.
And afterward, the three of us
went to Uno's for pizza.
I can still remember how much fun we had.
That's the kind of dad he was.
He loved experiences.
He loved adventure.
But more than anything, he loved experiencing those things with us.
My Dad always pointed me back to God.
When I was in seventh grade, I performed my first monologue at an East Coast Nazarene youth competition. My dad had helped organize the event, and he encouraged me as I took on a piece that required a lot of courage from me at that age.
I got 2nd place.
But what I remember most isn't the award.
My dad was the one who got to place the medal around my neck.
We both started crying and just held onto each other onstage in front of thousands of people.
My dad encouraged me to be brave, use my voice, and stand for what I believed.
Years later, on a drive together, I asked my dad something I had always wondered:
“How did you know how to be a dad if you didn't have a dad growing up?”
He told me:
“I learned how to be a dad by reading the Bible and finding out what God says about being a father. You know, you can learn a lot of things about life by reading the Bible, Joy.”
Then, as a senior in high school, I was overwhelmed trying to decide where to go to college.
“Dad, how do I decide? How will I know the right place to go?”
His answer was simple:
“Joy, pray about it. Trust God to lead you to the right place. Be patient. He has a plan.”
There were countless moments like these.
When I didn't know where to look, my dad pointed me back to our Heavenly Father.
He trusted God with his own life, and he taught me to trust Him with mine.
And he taught me that our faith wasn't something we were meant to keep to ourselves.
My dad shared the love of Jesus with strangers, young people, the poor, the lost, the wealthy, our friends, and family.
For several summers, Dad and I volunteered together at a Christian camp in New York, teaching tennis to campers.
The Ordinary Moments
Some of my favorite memories with my dad weren't big adventures at all.
Sometimes we just went for ice cream.
We'd drive to our local ice cream shop, Cliff's, and stand outside in line on a hot summer evening.
Dad always ordered a chocolate shake with extra chocolate syrup.
I always got a small vanilla-and-chocolate twist cone with rainbow sprinkles.
And Dad always let me take a sip of his shake.
Then we'd walk past the gravel parking lot, find the red bench, sit down together, and eat our ice cream.
And I would ask him questions.
So many questions.
Dad answered them.
He never made me feel like I was bothering him. He never seemed annoyed that I had another question.
He just gave me his time.
I don't remember every question I asked on that red bench.
But I remember how it felt to know that my dad wanted to sit there with me.
Looking back now, I realize something:
The ice cream wasn't what made those moments special.
Being with my dad did.
Now I Understand.
When I was little, I didn't know my dad was being intentional.
I just knew I loved being with him.
I didn't know that the conversations, the adventures, the traditions, the laughter, the questions, and all the ordinary time together were becoming part of the foundation of my life.
I know that now.
My dad wasn't perfect. No dad is.
But he intentionally loved me.
And now, as his grown daughter, I can see just how much that love shaped me.
It gave me security.
It gave me confidence.
It gave me a safe place to come home to.
And most importantly, my dad continually pointed me toward my Heavenly Father.
My dad's love is one of the greatest gifts God has given me.
The love my dad gave me didn't stop with me.
I carried it into my own family.
I see pieces of his love in the way I love my husband, in the way we raise our boys, and in the memories my children made with their grandpa.
And I don't believe that gift was meant to stop with our family either.
That's why I created Intentional Dad Letters.
My hope is to take some of the stories, lessons, and ordinary moments I shared with my dad and pass them forward, encouraging other dads to intentionally love their children today and preserve pieces of that love their children may treasure for years to come.
Because I know what that kind of love can do in the life of a child.
I lived it.